Duty to The Fans...

So, I hope you all are satisfied.  My wife has begun using you all as an excuse to feed me vegetables instead of reasonable, healthy food like Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Today, I was given a salad for lunch, and when I complained she said "It's my duty to your fans to make sure you live a long and healthy life."  Honestly.  The things I suffer for you people.

I actually don't mind salads when they're produced properly.  Properly meaning with iceberg lettuce used as a vehicle for getting dressing, croutons, and bacon into my mouth.  But these 'salads' that Pemberly makes barely have any lettuce in them at all!  They've got all this colorful junk like carrots and peppers and broccoli.  Really, who puts broccoli in a salad?  It's bad enough when you have to eat that stuff cooked.  (As a good friend of mine often says in reference to salads: "That's not food, that's what food eats.")  And, the lettuce in these salads of hers is rather suspect.  It's not a good, nutrient-free iceberg at all, but some sort of weed or something. 

(Note: I'm mostly being facetious here.  I do like her salads; they're just not the sort of food I'd make myself.  You should know that when Pemberly and I went to register for our wedding gifts at Target, I did take the little scanner thing and register for two objects for me.  An XBox and a pack of Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Never did get that XBox, but I got like thirty boxes of mac.  Opening our wedding gifts was rather amusing, as often they'd have a box of Kraft tied to them in some way.)

I'll stop whining now and will try to post some kind of useful update tomorrow. . . .