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Annotation Elantris Chapter 4
Chapter Four (Spoilers Hidden)
Moshe and I agreed on just about every edit or change made to ELANTRIS. There is one small thing, however, that we kind of went the rounds about. The word Kolo.
Galladon’s ‘Kolo’s are, in my mind, an integral part of his personality. I characterize him a great deal through his dialogue–he doesn’t really get viewpoints of his own, so everything I do for him
A number of languages in our own world make frequent use of similar tags. Korean, the foreign language I’m most familiar with, has a language construction like this. Closer to home, people often make fun of the Canadian propensity for adding a similar tag to their own statements. I hear that Spanish often uses these tags. In many of these languages, a large percentage of statements made will actually end in a softening interrogative tag.
Anyway, enough linguistics. I’m probably using the standard ‘literary’ posture of falling back on facts and explanations to make myself sound more authoritative. Either way, I liked having Galladon say ‘Kolo’ a lot. In the original draft, the tags were added onto the ends of sentences, much like we might ask ‘eh?’ or ‘understand?’ in English. “It’s hot today, kolo?”
Moshe, however, found the excessive use of Kolo confusing–especially in connection with Sule. He thought that people might get the two words confused, since they’re used similarly in the sentences. Simply put, he found the kolos distracting, and started to cut them right and left. I, in turn, fought to keep in as many as I could. It actually grew rather amusing–in each successive draft, he’d try to cut more and more, and I’d try to keep ahold of as many as possible. (I was half tempted to throw a ‘kolo’ into the draft of MISTBORN, just to amuse him.)
Regardless, we ended up moving kolo to its own sentence to try and make it more understandable. “It’s hot today. Kolo?” We also ended up cutting between a third and a half of the uses of the word, and losing each one was a great pain for me. (Well, not really. But I’m paid to be melodramatic.) So, if you feel like it, you can add them back in your mind as your read Galladon’s lines.
Other than that massive tangent, I don’t know that I have much to say about this chapter. I thought that it was necessary to set Raoden up with a firm set of goals to accomplish–hence the three distinct gangs he has to overcome. Since Sarene and Hrathen’s storylines were going to be a little more ambiguous plot-wise, I wanted a conflict for Raoden that could show distinct and consistent progress.
The cliffhanger at the end of this chapter, by the way, is one of my favorites. The chapter-triad system gave me some amazing opportunities for cliffhangers–as we’ll see later.